I have absolutely no idea how to fix a bike.

This the second time since I have moved to Santa Fe that I have gotten myself stranded in the middle of nowhere on ride. Both times due to flat tires. The first time was because I had gotten a flat earlier in the ride and flatted again soon after and had no tubes left, the second, well it could have been easily prevented for reasons to be discussed.  This was my first big ride since BLST 70.3, so I was actually looking forward to it. I was about 40 minutes into the scheduled 3 hours when I noticed my back tire was riding low. No big deal, I ride with a lot of extra tubes and CO2, so flats aren't an issue anymore. I stop at a place where the shoulder was wider and got ready to change what I thought was a standard flat tire. As I was removing the back wheel, my back derailleur fell off and was no longer attached to the bike. My first reaction was "uhhhh I don't think that is supposed to do that" then "insert expletives" and finally hysterics. I called Logan in tears because once again I was stranded and I couldn't fix my bike - this of course backfired in my face because he couldn't figure out what the hell I was talking about since the extent of my bike terminology consists of "well I had a flat and then I tried to fix it, but then the derailleur thingy fell off the thing that is attached to the bike  -I think there are supposed to be screws in the thing but they aren't there." This, as you can imagine, explained the problem perfectly. Of course, Logan did not see it my way and asked me to send him a picture, which I apparently am not good at either, because after two tries he said he could not see what I was trying to say. Luckily, I was rescued by a mountain biker who was on his way back from the trails and on is way to the bike shop. Diagnosis on bike = two screws that hold the derailleur on had fallen out (I actually knew something!), an easily prevented problem had I been taking care of weekly maintenance and looked for anomalies (insert face palm from both my Dad and Logan here). So now my bike is getting fixed up AND getting a badly needed tune-up. Moral of the story: I will make an effort to maintain my bikes (I will take that bike stand now Dad). I guess the benefit of my ride getting cut short (besides standing on the side of the road for an hour) is that I will be more rested for my run test tomorrow morning...